Scaling Just Mercy Dialogues from the High School to the Community

In these divisive times, Essential Partners has given my local YMCA and now the national YMCA a means to build bridges through dialogue, re-establishing foundations for constructive change to occur.

The dialogue training allowed me to push myself to speak up first. In an informal conversation, I’m not usually the first person to voice my opinion; I usually end up listening, rather than taking a stance on sharing my opinion. But the dialogue training empowered us to decide if we want to say something now or listen. It really made me feel part of the conversation, rather than being on the outside, observing.

What is special about Essential Partners' approach is that it promotes authenticity, reduces defensiveness, increases curiosity, and boosts connectedness.

We owe a debt of gratitude to Laura Chasin and her collaborators at Essential Partners… From them, we have learned about the transformative power of telling one’s story and speaking to the heart of the matter.

The dialogue setting created an environment where people weren’t afraid to open up and share those things that they might not always share out loud. It made us feel closer and provided a stronger sense of trust. It allowed me to be vulnerable to people outside of my community and to be open to sharing.

Dialogue not only teaches you how to interact and understand more deeply those around you, it also teaches you more about the world around you and yourself. I think dialogue is super important to my growth as a student, a global citizen and a human being. I have learned to listen, I have learned to speak out, I have learned how to access my stretch zone (where I feel uncomfortable speaking but not turned off) and I have learned where my limits are.

The Sheridan Community has changed in the best way since the Essential Partners training. The Center for a Vital Community has been holding monthly dialogues. I’m going to facilitate the upcoming one. What’s great is that we’re attracting a much more diverse group of participants. There are always the regulars who come, but now we’re also getting conservative Republicans to come as well—politicians come, even the Sheriff comes.

Here safe space was created for pastors and church leaders to wrestle with topics like evolution which are all too often “off limits” or believed to be antagonistic to the faith.

I am now open to new views and can moderate my impulse to debate or persuade others of different views

Together, we married our ideas to create a dialogue model that took into consideration our young people’s particular needs, and our culture.

It honestly surprised me that we were doing [dialogues about the 2020 election] in the first place. I have gone to this school since Kindergarten, and I have seen the recurring pattern of the faculty and staff looking to keep politics out of school discussion, which is completely understandable. Growing up this way has built a sort of stigma around politics that I feel like affected my experience in these activities. This also prompted me to learn more about how I feel about these topics.

EP's approach has given me some tools to deal with what comes up in my classroom. I teach classes about charged topics. As I’m thinking about and exploring ways to broach these conversations with students, I use this.

I did not anticipate having as many concrete takeaways as I do. I feel there is an immense practical application.

Simply changing the wording of a question can invite a completely different personality and emotion around a question. You can learn so much more and have a better understanding of someone's perspective by changing your question.

Having an environment that gives you that space to listen to others talk about their experiences and understand how those experiences have led them to the opinions that they have—it is truly eye-opening.

One of the things that we talked about was the ability to hear another person’s point of view, even if our minds aren’t changed. We have to remember that any sort of movement is movement. If we don’t acknowledge small movement, then we just stay on two different sides, and it’s all black and white, and we don’t hear each other.

What surprised me was how much you could transform a relationship during a three-hour conversation.

This is a new idea, so many people speaking from their hearts. People can come together...if people can understand, they can change their hearts; then this can bring about more change.

Student facilitators flip the script. When students lead, you can see a change occur, a shift as they understand the difference between being a participant and being a facilitator, as they work to hear and address the needs of their classmates and community.

I ran for my local school board in 2018 and was elected. I use the skills in our meetings, whether I’m chairing the meeting or not. This makes the meetings much more productive. We don’t go over the same topics over and over again.

I’m a world history teacher… now I feel I’m more empowered about how to make connections across differences. I have a better skill set to facilitate connections.

The thing that surprised me, was the amount of respect given to each person while speaking in the meeting. I thought that discussing politics would eventually cause problems, but it did not.

I notice that my classmates take much more care when speaking about people who practice other religions. They make fewer assumptions, and they’re more careful with their words to make sure to avoid unintentional connotations.

Together, we married our ideas to create a dialogue model that took into consideration our young people’s particular needs, and our culture.

Authentic conversations will lead people to reflect on their own thinking and transform their perspectives to include that of others.

The most significant thing I've learned in this program is that having an open mindset when listening to others' opinions different from yours to understand their perspective instead of finding the flaws to oppose their opinion to try and change their mind.

Dialogue changed how I think about the way my school runs.… now I know the people running this institution. I know their values. I know their story. There's a whole new level of trust in the institution itself.

The thing that always feels like magic to me—and I’ve used it in several meetings that I’ve had since—is how the practitioners start by setting out pacts or agreements.

I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment when the Essential Partners training ended; that I'd done something important for my community and something important for me.

Dialogue not only teaches you how to interact and understand more deeply those around you, it also teaches you more about the world around you and yourself. I think dialogue is super important to my growth as a student, a global citizen and a human being. I have learned to listen, I have learned to speak out, I have learned how to access my stretch zone (where I feel uncomfortable speaking but not turned off) and I have learned where my limits are.

Through this training, we will have more people in the stream of work that we do and become better equipped with the know-how, skills and techniques. But most important, together we will sow a seed that will germinate and become a source of the antidote to terrorism, fanaticism, bigotry and extremism.

This wasn’t a policy debate [about guns]. Instead, two people whose backgrounds and views diverged in almost every way possible shared a moment of honesty that struck at the heart of the matter.

The highlight for me was the interconnectedness of the participants’ views, mutual respect, and range of experiences within the group

The dialogue setting created an environment where people weren’t afraid to open up and share those things that they might not always share out loud. It made us feel closer and provided a stronger sense of trust. It allowed me to be vulnerable to people outside of my community and to be open to sharing.

When a debate occurs, you never feel like you get to hear a person’s full point of view. But, through dialogue, you get to learn someone else’s perspective without any competitive need to win an argument. It leads to mutual understanding; listening to each other helps us chip away at our differences.

EP's questions of understanding exercise felt like the debate that we wish the presidential candidates would have—instead of having to listen to two old guys yelling over each other.

Instead of demonizing and dehumanizing the other, we built a deeper connection. The fact that we disagree matters much less. It matters much more that we are neighbors in this community.

There was a remarkable change in the way we were able to communicate with one another following the facilitated conversations.

This is the best adult learning experience I have had in the past five years. I wanted to learn new skills—I did!

I’ve gained not only confidence but tools. The Essential Partners training was worth every penny.

Essential Partners does the best work in the field of dialogue and communication.

I learned that through productive dialogue, you can make relationships and friendships with people through talking about your differences and similarities.

I realized that by using the “dialogue” approach, people could talk of what is deep in their heart, especially things that have harmed them.

I can't even begin to explain the gratitude and fulfillment I felt from participating in this Essential Partners COVID-19 dialogue. It helped me better understand myself and what I hope to accomplish throughout this period of uncertainty.

There’s a real difference to people who are coming to meetings. They say, wow this is so different. They all said how people were more on the ball, more congenial. Now people see growing the economy as a way to unify the receiving community and immigrant communities.

Essential Partners's dialogue initiative is, literally, the best forum I have attended during my time at Cary Academy. The openness and sharing in our group led to genuine connections. I’m not sure words can express how meaningful this event was to me. Truly priceless.

I ran for my local school board in 2018 and was elected. I use the skills in our meetings, whether I’m chairing the meeting or not. This makes the meetings much more productive. We don’t go over the same topics over and over again.

Facilitated dialogue creates a classroom atmosphere in which exploring uncomfortable issues and asking difficult questions is an expected part of the process, and it allows students space to engage each other without fear of the vitriol common in our public discourse.

This is the best adult learning experience I have had in the past five years. I wanted to learn new skills—I did!

This is a different tool for engagement. It’s not about you, it’s about others. It involves the art of listening and sincerely talking from the heart

Essential Partners has played a catalytic role in our ability to facilitate dialogue time and time again, and we could not have done this work without them.

I learned that I can build relationships, that I can be connected to anybody who I want to be connected to, no matter how difficult it is

I think Essential Partners' training should be mandatory in every legislature. I think it should be a requirement.

EP's approach is flexible enough to support educators working across diverse contexts and parallels work that they are already doing to support students' social-emotional development, create trauma-sensitive classrooms and schools, and differentiate learning experiences to meet the needs of all learners.

Before, I thought all dialogue that does not culminate in solution was considered equivalent to failure. Now I see that dialogue is a stage complete in itself.

The community dialogue was instrumental in helping us create a new policy around class rank. Though a controversial topic in the community, the dialogue EP helped us run ensured all voices were heard and valued. Regardless of how people felt with the final result, one parent summed it up best for us, ‘sometimes the process is more important than the outcome’.

This has been quite different from other discussions in Liberia about peace. While many processes have been about how to reform ex-combatants, this was about how we may hold our own views but live together peacefully.

It's incredible to really see the evolution and the change of these students, once they're given the tools—and Essential Partners has really helped me do that.

I read this comment from the 14th Dalai Lama: "Every change of mind is first of all a change of heart.” It seems appropriate for what we are doing.

What surprised me was how much you could transform a relationship during a three-hour conversation.

As a former rebel, I really believe that if we had known about dialogue, perhaps we would not have had a civil war.

I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment when the Essential Partners training ended; that I'd done something important for my community and something important for me.

The learning we received from Essential Partners has helped us open up space for people to have difficult conversations in a different way. The more we do this, the more we realize that dialogue has to be a part of all our work.

I am amazed at what came out—the way people shared their stories. This is not like a role-play; it really touched me.

[Essential Partners’] technique is used to explore contentious or divisive issues. So looking at renewable energy we thought this was an ideal opportunity to explore all the complexities of that issue. I found it a really useful method, and although this is the first time we’ve used it I am sure we’ll be using it again.

I’ve gained not only confidence but tools. The Essential Partners training was worth every penny.

This wasn’t a policy debate [about guns]. Instead, two people whose backgrounds and views diverged in almost every way possible shared a moment of honesty that struck at the heart of the matter.

The community dialogue was instrumental in helping us create a new policy around class rank. Though a controversial topic in the community, the dialogue EP helped us run ensured all voices were heard and valued. Regardless of how people felt with the final result, one parent summed it up best for us, ‘sometimes the process is more important than the outcome’.

I have never heard people talk so openly about race, especially in a class setting. Everyone was respectful and honest at the same time. The dialogue structure helped me learn about my peers and helped me feel more comfortable than I ever have about discussing controversial issues.

I did not anticipate having as many concrete takeaways as I do. I feel there is an immense practical application.

EP's approach allows all the students in the room to speak and be heard, to think about different perspectives on the issue without getting into arguments or fights.

Instead of demonizing and dehumanizing the other, we built a deeper connection. The fact that we disagree matters much less. It matters much more that we are neighbors in this community.

Essential Partners does the best work in the field of dialogue and communication.

Vulnerability is the key. A lot of perspective-taking is based in vulnerability. It’s the key ingredient in a good structured dialogue. It’s crucial to the ‘meet me in the middle’ experience that dialogue is all about.