Abortion Dialogues in Greater Boston

Instead of demonizing and dehumanizing the other, we built a deeper connection. The fact that we disagree matters much less. It matters much more that we are neighbors in this community.

I did not anticipate having as many concrete takeaways as I do. I feel there is an immense practical application.

This is a new idea, so many people speaking from their hearts. People can come together...if people can understand, they can change their hearts; then this can bring about more change.

We became confident really early on that the model was working. We were nervous there would be yelling and blow-ups but after a few conversations we realized that wasn’t happening… People were treating each other humanely.

There is a need not only for safe space within our churches but for our church leaders who often feel alone, or who may feel their job could be at risk if they engage in controversial conversations. How are they to make safe spaces in their own congregations for healthy dialogue if they rarely experience safe space to do the same?

There’s a real difference to people who are coming to meetings. They say, wow this is so different. They all said how people were more on the ball, more congenial. Now people see growing the economy as a way to unify the receiving community and immigrant communities.

The highlight for me was the interconnectedness of the participants’ views, mutual respect, and range of experiences within the group

While our differences remain, the relationships between us have been strengthened and deepened. We have gained in mutual respect, affection, and appreciation of one another as followers of Jesus and fellow-bishops.

Through this training, we will have more people in the stream of work that we do and become better equipped with the know-how, skills and techniques. But most important, together we will sow a seed that will germinate and become a source of the antidote to terrorism, fanaticism, bigotry and extremism.

The thing that always feels like magic to me—and I’ve used it in several meetings that I’ve had since—is how the practitioners start by setting out pacts or agreements.

The community dialogue was instrumental in helping us create a new policy around class rank. Though a controversial topic in the community, the dialogue EP helped us run ensured all voices were heard and valued. Regardless of how people felt with the final result, one parent summed it up best for us, ‘sometimes the process is more important than the outcome’.

What is special about Essential Partners' approach is that it promotes authenticity, reduces defensiveness, increases curiosity, and boosts connectedness.

It’s amazing how closely we can work together on certain projects and never know what about our faith motivates our work. This work deepened my appreciation for everyone who was there; hearing everyone's stories helped me to appreciate them more and the depth of their convictions, even when they’re convictions I don’t share.

Instead of demonizing and dehumanizing the other, we built a deeper connection. The fact that we disagree matters much less. It matters much more that we are neighbors in this community.

This is a different tool for engagement. It’s not about you, it’s about others. It involves the art of listening and sincerely talking from the heart

I now lead teams with a different language, using different processes, and with a different awareness of team dynamics. [I’ve seen] relationships grow and deepen, unity and commitment remain high, and mutual respect established and fostered.

I read this comment from the 14th Dalai Lama: "Every change of mind is first of all a change of heart.” It seems appropriate for what we are doing.

Essential Partners does the best work in the field of dialogue and communication.

The Sheridan Community has changed in the best way since the Essential Partners training. The Center for a Vital Community has been holding monthly dialogues. I’m going to facilitate the upcoming one. What’s great is that we’re attracting a much more diverse group of participants. There are always the regulars who come, but now we’re also getting conservative Republicans to come as well—politicians come, even the Sheriff comes.

I learned that I can build relationships, that I can be connected to anybody who I want to be connected to, no matter how difficult it is

What surprised me was how much you could transform a relationship during a three-hour conversation.

I ran for my local school board in 2018 and was elected. I use the skills in our meetings, whether I’m chairing the meeting or not. This makes the meetings much more productive. We don’t go over the same topics over and over again.

Through this training, we will have more people in the stream of work that we do and become better equipped with the know-how, skills and techniques. But most important, together we will sow a seed that will germinate and become a source of the antidote to terrorism, fanaticism, bigotry and extremism.

I notice that my classmates take much more care when speaking about people who practice other religions. They make fewer assumptions, and they’re more careful with their words to make sure to avoid unintentional connotations.

The highlight for me was the interconnectedness of the participants’ views, mutual respect, and range of experiences within the group

I’ve gained not only confidence but tools. The Essential Partners training was worth every penny.

I think Essential Partners' training should be mandatory in every legislature. I think it should be a requirement.

Together, we married our ideas to create a dialogue model that took into consideration our young people’s particular needs, and our culture.

Dialogue not only teaches you how to interact and understand more deeply those around you, it also teaches you more about the world around you and yourself. I think dialogue is super important to my growth as a student, a global citizen and a human being. I have learned to listen, I have learned to speak out, I have learned how to access my stretch zone (where I feel uncomfortable speaking but not turned off) and I have learned where my limits are.

I am amazed at what came out—the way people shared their stories. This is not like a role-play; it really touched me.

Authentic conversations will lead people to reflect on their own thinking and transform their perspectives to include that of others.

I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment when the Essential Partners training ended; that I'd done something important for my community and something important for me.

One of the things that we talked about was the ability to hear another person’s point of view, even if our minds aren’t changed. We have to remember that any sort of movement is movement. If we don’t acknowledge small movement, then we just stay on two different sides, and it’s all black and white, and we don’t hear each other.

We owe a debt of gratitude to Laura Chasin and her collaborators at Essential Partners… From them, we have learned about the transformative power of telling one’s story and speaking to the heart of the matter.

[Essential Partners’] technique is used to explore contentious or divisive issues. So looking at renewable energy we thought this was an ideal opportunity to explore all the complexities of that issue. I found it a really useful method, and although this is the first time we’ve used it I am sure we’ll be using it again.

This wasn’t a policy debate [about guns]. Instead, two people whose backgrounds and views diverged in almost every way possible shared a moment of honesty that struck at the heart of the matter.

I read this comment from the 14th Dalai Lama: "Every change of mind is first of all a change of heart.” It seems appropriate for what we are doing.

I did not anticipate having as many concrete takeaways as I do. I feel there is an immense practical application.

This has been quite different from other discussions in Liberia about peace. While many processes have been about how to reform ex-combatants, this was about how we may hold our own views but live together peacefully.

Here safe space was created for pastors and church leaders to wrestle with topics like evolution which are all too often “off limits” or believed to be antagonistic to the faith.

What surprised me was how much you could transform a relationship during a three-hour conversation.

This is the best adult learning experience I have had in the past five years. I wanted to learn new skills—I did!

As a former rebel, I really believe that if we had known about dialogue, perhaps we would not have had a civil war.

I have never heard people talk so openly about race, especially in a class setting. Everyone was respectful and honest at the same time. The dialogue structure helped me learn about my peers and helped me feel more comfortable than I ever have about discussing controversial issues.

I am now open to new views and can moderate my impulse to debate or persuade others of different views

The learning we received from Essential Partners has helped us open up space for people to have difficult conversations in a different way. The more we do this, the more we realize that dialogue has to be a part of all our work.

This is the best adult learning experience I have had in the past five years. I wanted to learn new skills—I did!

I am amazed at what came out—the way people shared their stories. This is not like a role-play; it really touched me.

Before, I thought all dialogue that does not culminate in solution was considered equivalent to failure. Now I see that dialogue is a stage complete in itself.

I realized that by using the “dialogue” approach, people could talk of what is deep in their heart, especially things that have harmed them.

I am now open to new views and can moderate my impulse to debate or persuade others of different views

This wasn’t a policy debate [about guns]. Instead, two people whose backgrounds and views diverged in almost every way possible shared a moment of honesty that struck at the heart of the matter.

I’ve gained not only confidence but tools. The Essential Partners training was worth every penny.

There should be opportunities throughout the [Anglican] Communion for ongoing structured conversations regarding difficult issues. These should engage persons at all levels within and between Provinces and should be guided by agreed covenants similar to those that have assisted our conversations.

I notice that my classmates take much more care when speaking about people who practice other religions. They make fewer assumptions, and they’re more careful with their words to make sure to avoid unintentional connotations.

Essential Partners does the best work in the field of dialogue and communication.

This is a different tool for engagement. It’s not about you, it’s about others. It involves the art of listening and sincerely talking from the heart

I cannot possibly walk out of this experience and help being a different person. I feel that my own experience has been life-changing.

This is a new idea, so many people speaking from their hearts. People can come together...if people can understand, they can change their hearts; then this can bring about more change.

There was a remarkable change in the way we were able to communicate with one another following the facilitated conversations.

I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment when the Essential Partners training ended; that I'd done something important for my community and something important for me.