In Conversation: Pulitzer Prize-winner Charles Duhigg
“I want to set a model. I want to be the bigger person, and a nation full of bigger people—and this is aspirational, this is optimistic, but it has happened before. We have been nations of bigger people. And I think when we do that with the skills that Essential Partners teaches…it really does pay off.”
At our 35th Anniversary Virtual Gala, Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist Charles Duhigg joined EP's John Sarrouf to talk about the power of healthy communication and authentic connection to transform conflicts, deepen belonging, and strengthen our communities.
“There are people around me who voted for someone who I didn't vote for who I don't like at all,” said Duhigg, “and when they make their opinions known, it is easy to say ‘You are foolish, you don't know what you're talking about, you're supporting something that I think is actually unethical.’ But I think a better response is to try and be that upstander and to say, ‘Look, I disagree with you and I know these folks over here they're being a little mean. I want to show you how much I want to understand.’
“I want to set a model. I want to be the bigger person, and a nation full of bigger people. This is aspirational, this is optimistic, but it has happened before. We have been nations of bigger people. And I think when we do that with the skills that Essential Partners teaches…it really does pay off.”
Duhigg's most recent book, Supercommunicators, explores the skills and frameworks that make conversations work well—and includes a chapter on one Essential Partners project that brought gun control and gun ownership rights advocates together in the shadow of the March for Our Lives.
Skilled communicators, Duhigg argues, know the importance of recognizing—and then matching—each kind of conversation. They know how to hear the complex emotions, subtle negotiations, and hidden beliefs that shape what we say and how we listen. Our experiences, values, emotional lives, self-conceptions, biases, and limitations shape every discussion we have, from how to talk about race in a high school classroom to how you want to make decisions together at work.
We couldn't agree more. If you're inspired by what you hear in this conversation, you can pick up a copy of Supercomunicators wherever you buy books—and we hope you'll consider supporting our work and mission by becoming an Essential Partners donor today.
