Doing Dialogue

Reflections from a Teacher

Author: 

Scott Silk
February 6, 2018
Scott Silk
Reflections from a Teacher - Scott Silk

Name-calling. Insults. Hate speech. Fake news. A relentless 24-hour partisan spin cycle. This was the backdrop faced by schools across the United States as the presidential election of 2016 and its aftermath unfolded. In fact, it hasn’t changed much in the fall of 2017. What is a school, charged with preparing the next generation of citizens and doing so in an environment that is safe for all, supposed to do in this situation?

My school, a highly diverse independent school in southern California, holds global engagement and ethical responsibility as two of our most important pillars. We decided to promote the idea of “civil discourse” through a series of meetings with parents, students, and faculty. We are a school built around Harkness teaching, which means that our students learn around seminar style tables and we, as teachers, are encouraged to promote student discussions and collaborative problem solving.

So, while our teachers and administrators were perhaps better prepared to manage the difficult conversations that needed to happen than their peers at most other schools, many of them still felt uncomfortable. Understandably, they were nervous about saying the wrong thing, unintentionally taking sides, or offending another member of the community—students, parents, colleagues, and supporters. What if the conversation got heated or personal—then what? In the end, while some teachers continued to ask their students to discuss the highly divisive events of the day, many of my well-intentioned colleagues chose to play it safe. While I understood their reasons, I was sad to witness the many missed opportunities to promote greater understanding and empathy that were presented by the election.

Beyond my background in education, I am a mediator, dialogue facilitator, and I founded the California chapter of Hands of Peace, a non-profit dialogue and leadership development organization that serves Palestinian, Israeli, and American teenagers. With all of my experience, I should have had the tools to advise the administrators at my school, but I quickly realized that I had little to offer. The Harkness method did not offer enough equity or a community of trust where people could feel safe enough to share opinions and personal stories without fear of judgment to its participants. And The Hands of Peace dialogue method was a long form model that depended upon experienced facilitators for success. Feeling a need to do something, I went in search of a model that was highly structured, equitable, safe, and did not require experienced facilitators. I was lucky enough to find Essential Partners (EP) and their branded practice of Reflective Structured Dialogue (RSD).

The RSD model is designed to produce learning conversations (dialogues) and not debates. There is significant emphasis placed on careful preparation: establishing a clear purpose; considering who should be involved and establishing a team of planners; deciding what behaviors and patterns to promote and prevent; preparing participants to engage in a constructive manner and the facilitator to facilitate with strength, compassion, and fairness. The dialogue itself can be designed to occur over one or many sessions. It relies on group norms, timed go-arounds, and plenty of time for reflection to create a safe and equitable space where all opinions are heard and respected. Carefully crafted questions are used to encourage participants to explore and share their life experiences, values, and the places where they feel conflicted or confused about their conclusions. Dialogue participants learn to craft questions that serve the receiver and not just the asker.

Shortly after the election, I contacted Bob Stains and John Sarrouf at EP and proposed that we work together to design a dialogue training that would be tailored to the specific needs of teachers, administrators, and school communities. EP would bring their knowledge and experience working with the RSD model, and I would bring my experience as an education insider who understands the unique challenges faced by educators. We began the process of designing Meaningful Dialogue in Turbulent Times: Success Strategies for Educators, while working to sell the merits of the training to schools.

Then finally in early August, 2017, the fruits of our labor were realized when 17 teachers and administrators from five southern California schools gathered for the pilot training. By all accounts, the highly experiential training was a big success. One participant said, “This was my first workshop on dialogue and I learned a lot. I hope to review my materials and take this back to my community and take on a new role as a facilitator.” Another participant said, “It's useful to many people in different roles!” Reflecting on the importance of learning the art of dialogue, yet another participant said, “In this global moment, real dialogue and connection is essential to mend an increasingly fractured world.” For Bob and myself, it was both fun and rewarding to see a talented and diverse group of educators engaging with the content and striving to obtain the necessary skills to promote meaningful dialogue in turbulent times. We can’t wait to hear about the ways in which they put RSD to work in their school communities.

As for me in my role as a history teacher and the chair of my department, RSD has truly transformed my practice even when I am not attempting to engage my students in difficult conversations about identity, politics, or religion. I now use group norms in all of my classes and team meetings. I am using timed go-arounds to promote equal student/faculty team member engagement while preventing anyone from dominating the conversation. My students are learning how to move beyond simply drawing conclusions about others, and to ask themselves how their life experiences have influenced their views. I am very intentionally teaching my students to consider the impact versus the intent of the questions that they ask each other in class discussions. My service learning group is even trying to organize an RSD style learning conversation about politics with a demographically divergent school in the Inland Empire of California. I hope it happens!

We are living in a very unsettled time of rapid change and deep divisions. In order for our local communities and our country as a whole to continue to thrive, we must learn to listen to each other and explore ideas in a respectful way. Since our schools may not be prepared to teach and model the skills for effective dialogue, we must offer our young people these techniques to help them learn and grow, and to build more peaceful communities. One must ask, if not in our schools, then where?

Scott Silk is the California Founder of Hands of Peace, an interfaith organization developing peace-building and leadership skills in Israeli, Palestinian and American teens through the power of dialogue and personal relationships. Scott is also a teacher at Pacific Ridge School in Carlsbad, CA where he teaches Middle East History and Diplomacy, Ethics, American History, Ancient World History, Model UN, Golf, and Service Learning.

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